cypros: (Little frog)
[personal profile] cypros
Title: Unfolded
Pairing: Juntoshi
Rating: PG
Genre: Drabble, with some more drops of angst. Ohno's POV
Author: Cypros
Disclaimer: I don't own them, wouldn't want to. I just love them.

Summary: Jun's not the only one to have feelings, deeply buried in himself. Ohno has them too, an a simple hug is able to unfold them...

Note: Companion piece to "In the open".

título o descripción

* * *

"It's in your eyes...
The love, the longing, the desire...

It's in your arms surrounding me,
and in those fingers in my head, a crown of fire.

It's in your smile,
in that shyness that is afraid of entering my space,
but that's craving to do so.

It's in your heart that I can feel,
beating against mine.

As if I was looking at my own reflection in a mirror,
I see everything in there...
The love, the longing, the desire...
The lust, the silence, and the tears...

I try to harden myself, I try to reject you...
To put on my mask and pretend there is nothing...

But I can't...

Just for a moment, I allow myself to let go...
To love, to long, to lust,
Just for a moment, I revel in your scent,
your touch, your breath...

Just for a moment, I surrender, I yield, I succumb
Just for a moment, there's no mask...
Just for a moment, I let myself dream that you are mine..."

* * *

Credits for the Ohno's An An scan to my friend [ profile] ginger001
Please don't clame it as yours or use it without asking her permission.

Date: Wednesday, 11 July 2012 02:27 (UTC)
From: [identity profile]
I don’t know how to be coherent about this drabble… It’s so, so beautiful! Really! I don’t know why but it seems even more intense and full of feelings than the previous one… Maybe because it is from your ichiban point of view?! ^.~
Anyway, I loved it! It’s really like a poem and it makes us feel all the deep feelings among them! Such a simple scene, such a simple hug, yet, so many feelings! You gave that scene a new meaning in my fangirl heart! ^.~
Thanks for sharing this! ^.^ You should share it more because more people will like it, it really is well written! ^.^

Date: Wednesday, 11 July 2012 19:14 (UTC)
From: [identity profile]
Ohhhhh, thank you so much!!! :DDD So glad you liked it!!!

I was afraid it was a bit too emotional, that it's a natural tendency in me when writing love scenes or love musings. I love writing about feelings, sensations and be passionate, but as I don't usually have readers that could give me their opinion, I don't know if I overdue or if at times I'm too fluffy. So it's beautiful to read such nice words of praise coming from you!!

You're right when you say that Ohno's POV has more intensity. Perhaps because in reviewing the scene, I saw that little movement he does as if trying to move back and avoid Jun's hug. It gave me the idea of someone trying to control his emotions fiercely and afraid of being caught off guard.

On the contrary, Jun's motion, the way in which he grabs him and presses him, his smile, suggested me someone a bit more opened to them. So for Ohno's POV I had in mind that when someone controls too much a passion like this and avoids it as much as possible, a little something like a hug, can maybe cause a wave of feelings difficult to restrain. That's what I wanted to transmit ;)

And it's so beautiful what you say that I gave a new meaning to that scene for you!!! Did I really do that??? It really means a lot to me, those words. I'm getting boring but, thank you again, really :DDD

Sorry for this long comment!!! I guess I got a bit too excited after reading your kind words <3

Date: Wednesday, 11 July 2012 23:48 (UTC)
From: [identity profile]
If my comment worked as an incentive to make you write more, than, I am happy! ^.~
Seriously, I didn’t think it was too emotional or fluffy… It was deep and beautiful! You could express exactly the way you got Riida’s feelings on the scene! When I first watched the scene, I didn’t see it like that, maybe because I was more focused on Jun-kun… But, after reading your drabble, it made perfect sense, so, yes, you were able to express all your thoughts about the scene and you changed my way of seeing it (with my fangirl heart of course XD)! ^.~ You expressed all Riida’s feelings beautifully! ^.^
And, please, your comment wasn’t boring or long! I really admire good writers and it’s a pleasure to talk to one! ^.^
Thanks again for sharing your work and, please, don’t forget me whenever you write Juntoshi again ok?! ^.~

Date: Tuesday, 24 July 2012 02:56 (UTC)
From: [identity profile]
As if I was looking at my own reflection in a mirror

That line is so beautiful. Well, the whole drabble is really beautiful, but this and the last line touched me especially ♥

You truly gave a new meaning to this scene... This is so deep and well written :)

Date: Wednesday, 15 August 2012 11:02 (UTC)
From: [identity profile]
Thank you so much!!! I'm so glad you liked it :DDD I hope I get my inspiration back -that muse that went "on vacation" and refuses to return for good :p -, because I'd like to write more or for better say, again. Much more after this morale injection you are all giving me!!! Specially because you already know how unsure of what I do I usually am ;)

Thanks again, guapa!!!

Date: Wednesday, 1 August 2012 21:46 (UTC)
From: [identity profile]
oh wow! that was a superb follow up
the first one was sweet but this has an underlying passion that is very endearing

You should write more!
you're gifted!

Date: Wednesday, 15 August 2012 11:13 (UTC)
From: [identity profile]
Oh, thank you so much for your kind words!!! And excuses for taking so long in answering you ;)

As I said before, for a while now I'm not feeling very inspired to write and I was kind of surprised at how this came out so suddenly but specially that you could like it. It's great you all did and I appreciate so much all your nice comments and words of encouragement!!!

And you really think I'm gifted??? Such a compliment brought tears to my eyes, I assure you, because I wasn't sure to publish it, to begin with. I thought it wasn't good enough to do so and I really had a lot of doubts. Fortunately, my friend ginger pushed me to do it and helped me overcome my fear. And now I'm hoping I keep overcoming it if I can finish some of the works I started. And also that you like them too.

Thank you again!!!

Date: Friday, 17 August 2012 00:07 (UTC)
From: [identity profile]
doon't worry, i commented late too ^^
But, yes, i'm not joking!
you really should try to write others

Ginger really did well in pushing you!
At least you jumped in the wagon and now there's no turning back ^_^


cypros: (Default)

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